Look after your mental wellbeing during pregnancy

Pregnancy brings change, and not all of it is easy to process. You might feel excited about what lies ahead, worried about the birth, uncertain about becoming a parent, or experience several emotions at once. The festive season can add another layer, with family expectations, financial pressures, disrupted routines and reminders of how life might be changing.

There is no single right way to feel during pregnancy. Your emotions may change from one day to the next, and your experience may not match what you expected. Having space to acknowledge how you’re feeling and access to support can make a difference.

Here are some ways to look after your mental wellbeing during pregnancy, recognise when you might need extra help and find support.

Understanding emotional changes during pregnancy

Pregnancy can bring physical changes, uncertainty and decisions about the future, all of which may affect how you feel. You might have mixed feelings about how pregnancy could change your relationships, daily routine, independence or plans for the future.

You may also feel differently about the pregnancy itself. Feeling uncertain, overwhelmed or less excited than you expected doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or how you’re experiencing pregnancy. Your experience doesn’t have to match what you see on social media or hear from other expectant parents.

Some worry and changes in mood can happen during pregnancy, but persistent anxiety or low mood deserves attention, particularly if it starts affecting your everyday life. The Royal College of Psychiatrists’ guidance on mental health in pregnancy explains that mental health difficulties can arise regardless of how you feel about being pregnant.

When the festive season feels overwhelming

Christmas and New Year can bring extra demands when you may already be managing physical discomfort, tiredness or uncertainty. Social gatherings, travel, family expectations and financial pressures can all take up emotional energy.

You might feel under pressure to attend events, answer personal questions or meet other people’s expectations about your pregnancy. You may also be navigating grief, a difficult family situation, pregnancy after loss or a festive period that looks very different from the one you imagined.

Think about which plans matter most to you and what you have the energy for. If certain conversations feel uncomfortable, you could let people know you’d prefer to talk about something else. A quieter celebration or a shorter visit might suit you better this year.

Coping with anxiety, stress and uncertainty

Some worries during pregnancy may relate to specific questions, such as the birth, your baby’s health or how you’ll manage after the baby arrives. Others may be harder to pin down, with thoughts that keep returning even when you try to put them aside.

If worry is taking up a lot of your attention, it may help to identify what’s weighing on you most. Your midwife may be able to answer practical questions, while other concerns may need time, reassurance or additional support.

Depending on what feels useful to you, you could try:

• Talking things through: Share your concerns with someone you trust, if you feel comfortable doing so. You can also speak to your midwife or GP.
• Finding reliable information: If uncertainty about pregnancy or birth is contributing to your anxiety, ask your maternity team for information relevant to your circumstances.
• Making space to switch off: A familiar activity, some time outdoors, music or a quiet break may help you take some space from everyday demands.
• Trying a calming technique: Some people find meditation, slow breathing, mindfulness or relaxation exercises helpful. You could try one and see whether it suits you.
• Getting help with everyday concerns: If work, family responsibilities or finances are weighing on you, talking things through with someone you trust may help you consider what could make things easier.

These approaches may help with everyday stress, but they are not a substitute for professional support when anxiety is persistent or difficult to manage. The NHS has further information about anxiety during pregnancy, including symptoms and available treatments.

Loneliness, relationships and changing expectations

Pregnancy can sometimes feel lonely, even when you have people around you. You might be pregnant without a partner, live far from people you trust, have experienced a loss or find it difficult to connect with other expectant parents. Being around people doesn’t necessarily mean feeling understood, and you can feel lonely even when you’re still in regular contact with friends and family. The National Children’s Bureau reports that up to half of UK parents experience loneliness during pregnancy and the first two years after birth.

If you’ve usually had an active social life or a large circle of friends, you might find the changes particularly difficult. Friends may carry on with their usual plans while you find it harder to join in, leaving you feeling disconnected. You might also find that conversations increasingly focus on your baby rather than how you’re doing, or that people close to you don’t always understand what you’re going through.

Pregnancy can also change your relationships and what you need from the people around you. Family members may have strong opinions, or the support you want may be different from what others expect. It can help to explain what would be most useful, whether that’s having a conversation without advice, spending time together or getting practical help. Antenatal groups and pregnancy-related peer support may also offer opportunities to meet people who understand some of what you’re experiencing.

If a relationship is causing you worry or affecting how you feel, talking things through with someone you trust may help. Your midwife or GP can also offer a private space to discuss relationship difficulties or concerns about your safety, and help you explore available support.

The Maternal Mental Health Alliance brings together organisations working to improve mental health support during pregnancy and after birth. Its resources can help you explore information and support options.

Looking after your mental wellbeing in ways that work for you

There isn’t one routine that works for everyone. Sleep, physical health, finances, work, caring responsibilities and the support available to you can all affect what feels realistic.

If you have the time and energy, regular movement that’s suitable for your pregnancy, opportunities to rest and activities you enjoy may support your wellbeing. Small things that help you feel more rested or connected can be just as relevant as bigger changes to your routine.

Sometimes looking after yourself means asking someone else to take something off your plate. It might mean changing plans, setting boundaries, seeking financial advice or making an appointment to discuss how you’ve been feeling.

When to seek support

Consider speaking to your midwife or GP if anxiety or low mood persists, your worries are difficult to control, you’re losing interest in things you usually enjoy, or your feelings are affecting sleep, relationships or everyday activities. You can ask for help even if you’re unsure how to describe what you’re experiencing.

Mental health difficulties can begin during pregnancy, including for people who have never experienced them before. Support may include talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), or other treatments recommended following an individual assessment. If you’re already taking prescribed medication for a mental health condition, speak to your prescriber before making any changes.

For more information, the NHS explains how to access mental health care during pregnancy. You can also read NICE guidance on mental health problems during pregnancy and after birth.

Where to find support during pregnancy

The following UK organisations offer information and support relating to mental health during pregnancy and after birth:

• Tommy’s provides pregnancy information and support from midwives, including advice about emotional wellbeing.
• Mind offers information about perinatal mental health and where to find further help.
• PANDAS Foundation supports parents and families affected by mental health difficulties during pregnancy and after birth.
• The Maternal Mental Health Alliance shares information about perinatal mental health and support services.

Your midwife or GP can also discuss options available locally and help you access appropriate care.

Local mental health support in York and North Yorkshire

If you’re based in York or North Yorkshire, the North Yorkshire and York Perinatal Service provides specialist mental health support during pregnancy and the first year after birth. You can speak to your GP, midwife, health visitor or another professional involved in your care about a referral.

You don’t have to navigate pregnancy alone

Pregnancy can bring emotions and challenges that aren’t always easy to explain, particularly when your experience differs from what you expected. The way you feel may change throughout pregnancy, and your feelings deserve to be taken seriously.

Whether you need someone to listen, practical help with everyday pressures or professional support, you don’t have to manage everything alone. Looking after your mental wellbeing is part of your care during pregnancy, and your midwife or GP can help you find support if you’re struggling.